Catch up -second on the list - Tara

 Tara  Tara Tara...  My running partner, my friend, and the nutcase who got me into this.

Tara always dreams big, and absolutely always follows through and makes things happen, Tara is talented at whisking things up from the thin air ana making them real. It was hard to not open up to her vision of our Berlin marathon together. Whatever Tara says, makes sense. Tara is not an idealistic daydreamer living in fantasies of greatness, Tara comes up with ideas and makes them into things-done.

Tara messaged me some weeks back with clues on her struggling to see how th marathon training fits into herlife at the moment.

I smelled something wasn't quite right, but I burried my hand in the sand.

Eventully Tara broke the news to me that she will not be running the marathon.

I burried my head in the sand and pretented that didn't happen.

After this episode, Tara gave me some time to process, and her reasoning. 

I burried my head in the sand, but it was unavoidable now. Panic settled in: how on earth am I going to run on my own? this was  her brain-wave and our baby. I Went through the stages of grieving process: denial... anger and resentment, and eventually accepted that she *may* have a lot of valid points, and she is entitled to her assessments and reflections on what , at this moment in time, works for her.

It did feel like an unexpected split up with a boy/girlfriend. 

Then we met, and we talked about it. 

And all is merry now. Tara is doing her own marathon, juggling her -to be honest- really busy life, and I'll do the literal running for both of us, because it is our Berlin. 

Also, I do admire her balls in appraising what seemed like a great idea at the time, giving it a genuine proper go, then deciding that between not letting people down, burnout, 2 rounds of covid, jobs, own business, family, reshuffling  things so she doesn't burn the candle at both ends is brave and smart. 

And where does leave me? I thought hard about my motivations after I've learnt her news. What would be the smartest thing to do for me and those that matter? My circumstances are definitely more forgiving than hers.. and I know that if she had the time to maintain her training AND some spare change for other of life'sdemands, it would be a no-brainer for her... she'd run those Berlin parents bursting with happiness and excitement.. So I'll have to do it